The Hunger for Him
Secret Place
Written by Paula Wynn   

Becoming Intimate with God 5/09

The Lord spoke to Moses face to face as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but Moses' young helper, Joshua son of Nun, did not leave the Tent (Exodus 33:11 NCV).

 

 
T

hough I’ve walked with the Lord for over thirty years, it has only been during the last couple of years that I’ve experienced true intimacy with Him. When I first became a Christian, I was so overwhelmed with the holiness of God that I was afraid to approach Him in any real sense of the word. I went through all the religious incantations but always felt intimidated, often feeling like I wasn't "doing it right". Fortunately, my best friend, who is a wonderful mature Christian, explained that real prayer was simply my heart communicating with the heart of God “as a man speaks to his friend” (Exodus 33:11 Amplified Bible).  "God just wants you to talk to Him," she said, "just like you're talking to me right now." This completely revolutionized my prayer life, for as a Friend I could approach Him with confidence about anything. The more I learned to commune heart-to-heart with Him, the more I began to trust Him. (I had trusted Him for my salvation but not completely with my day-to-day living). Little did I realize how vital this growth would be.

A few years ago, I was blindsided by a midlife crisis which had the full force of a tsunami. All that I had dreamed of and built my life around was brutally ripped away and I was helpless to do anything about it. Like termites nibbling undetected in unsuspecting places, “little foxes” had been destroying the foundation of my marriage. While I had focused on larger issues, tried to patch others with a band-aid, and even called in the professionals for damage control, the destruction was irrevocable. I cried, I raved, I questioned but nothing calmed the raging storm of emotions that swept away my self-made “levees”. Like the Apostle Peter, who started drowning when he took his eyes off the Lord, all I could do, too, was cry out, “Help, Lord!”

The years I had spent building a friendship with the Lord now allowed me to turn to Him with an agony that only He could comprehend. I felt so forsaken, so alone. It was virtually impossible to share with any human being the intensity of the betrayal I felt in a marriage. Words were so inadequate that all I could do at times was groan before the Lord. Yet in that awful blackness, He proved to me that He was truly a “friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24 Amplified Bible). In the privacy of our sacred place, He allowed me to pour out all the pain, the feelings of rejection and betrayal, the insecurity and anger that threatened to consume me.

Lying there in my bed, curled up in the fetal position with my face to the wall-- in the wee hours of the morning, I opened up the secret places of my heart to Him. I had always known that as God He knew all things already, but it was so comforting to have Him wrap me in His arms and reassure me that He “would never leave nor forsake me,” and that He would be with me always, that He knew all about my weaknesses and challenges but loved me anyway! The Lord shined His glorious light into my troubled soul and began to fill my heart with a peace beyond human comprehension.

Over the months that followed, He continued to gently nudge me awake early in the predawn hours and breathe peace to my soul. My bed truly became the “garden” where I met with Him—my sacred space. Geography was unimportant. What was important was the realization that God would be as intimate with me as I would want Him to be. No pretenses. No excuses. Just being real and knowing that He accepted me for who I was and that I was precious to Him were comforting.

The stench of my circumstances has not changed, but I sure have! I have a new awareness of who I am in Christ and enjoy the wonder of being loved by Him. There are still moments when I sometimes give in to tears, but I now cry on the shoulder of Him who has borne me up as “on eagles’ wings"! (Exodus 19:4 Amplified Bible) My God is everything I need Him to be. He is the Lover of my soul and has become my heart’s desire. I delight in Him!


Prayer:

Father God, I delight, O Lord, in the sweetness of your presence. With full abandonment, I pour out my heart to you: free to love you, free to adore you, free to worship you. In the sanctuary of my spirit, O Lord, I am content in your warm embrace, knowing that as my spirit connects with Yours we become one. I praise You for the blessing of such sweet intimacy, so unlike any I've ever known. You, O Lord, are my hiding place and my refuge. You are everything I need and all that I want! Bless your holy name! Amen.

Memory Scripture:

Come near to God, and God will come near to you (James 4:8 NCV).

 


Paula Wynn
About the author:

Paula B. Wynn resides in Chesapeake, Virginia. She is a teacher by profession and a student of the Word by choice. Paula is a mentor whose greatest desire is to motivate others to push through the hurdles of opposition and experience the joy of fulfilled dreams.


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